Who are the women who are attending your church retreats? Did you know that nearly 1 in 2 people in the USA have a chronic illness and practically 96% of the illnesses are invisible? Most of these women suffer silently; many live with depression, isolation, and feel very alone. But you will also discover many women who live with illness possess great wisdom beyond their years; they will make a difference in the lives of others who are attending your retreat, perhaps even beyond the retreat speaker. But are they even attending the retreat?

Rest Ministries, the largest Christian organization that serves the chronically ill, took a survey about attending retreats. Out of the twenty respondents, seventeen participate less since they have a chronic illness. When asked why, the responses were as follows:

Three explained, \"Accessibility issues (It\'s difficult to get to and from buildings at the retreat)\"; 6 people responded, \"The pain factor. It\'s just too draining\"; 4 shared, \"The unpredictable health issues\"; and 10 said, \"A combination of the above.\"

So, how could you encourage women with chronic illness to get involved in your church retreat?

1. When planning the retreat ask a lot of questions about the retreat center and promote that you have this information before people register

How steep are the hills? Are ride-in carts available? How far are the rooms from the main meeting center? Is electricity in the rooms? Are there only bunk beds? Can someone have a private room? Are there chairs besides the metal folding chairs? Elevators? One woman shares, \"I stopped going a year or so ago because the retreat planner does not tell you what is expected, or about walking, stairs, etc. They need to be more honest.\" Those who attend retreats look for locations that are held at retreat center without a lot of walking, and preferably flat ground. Hotels or a large home are nice too. While you may think fifty yards is a \"short distance,\" fifty steps may be one\'s limit. Provide actual distances on your flyer, not just \"rooms are a short walking distance.\"

2. Understand that women desire to go on retreats and socialize with others, but they must feel that the retreat planner understands that they will be on their own schedule

Margaret lives with a malignant brain tumor and uterine cancer. She says, \"I don\'t attend retreats because people don\'t want to understand or accept that sometimes I have to retreat from the \'retreat.\' I may have to go back to my room to rest. Others decide that I\'m escaping from my problems. They demand that I participate in whatever is happening. I\'m not wishing to be anti-social and I will participate when God enables me to do so; but at the same time, when God tells me to rest, I must rest despite what the [retreat] \'timetable\' states.\" One way a retreat director can help rectify this is by distributing the retreat\'s event schedule a week or so before the event, even if it\'s just posted on the church\'s web site.

3. When planning ice-breakers or fun games make sure there is something comfortable those with limited physical abilities can do if they choose

If people don\'t want to participate in the relay race where everyone dresses up in costumes, allow them to do their own thing. Debbie, who has chronic fatigue syndrome says, \"Unfortunately, I have yet to find a retreat director who understands that I am not able to participate, not because I\'m uncooperative, shy, or antisocial, but simply because I cannot physically do so; the result is that I do not attend church retreats.\"

4. Don\'t gasp at all they pack

All women have necessities they pack to make their weekend more comfortable. For the chronically ill these typically include: their own bedding, chair cushions, pillows, snacks, pain patches, eye shades to sleep, or a flashlight and book to read in case she is awake all night. They may bring bottled water, the biggest collection of medication you\'ve ever seen (don\'t comment), and perhaps even a service dog (which she should ask you about before the event.)

5. Remember that she knows her body better than you do, and she is trying to plan for the best experience

She realizes that riding a bus to the retreat center may throw her back out the whole weekend, so if she can go in a car with a staff member that modification is very beneficial. If she wears ear plugs or listens to music, don\'t take it personally. She may need to save her strength to socialize that evening. If she is diabetic, she may be eating small meals or snacks throughout the day. Don\'t comment, \"Oh, we\'re going to be eating in thirty minutes, so why don\'t you just wait.\"

6. Acknowledge that she\'s not a prima donna; take her requests seriously

She isn\'t asking for the bottom bunk and bringing her bedding because she is the Princess and the Pea. She may have some required needs. For example, electricity is a medical requirement, not a wish, for women who use a CCAP machine for sleep apnea (2 women out of our responses of 20 use one). Refrigeration of medications may also be necessary, so don\'t tell her to just find an ice pack for her room. Her medication could be ruined so she may need access to a staff member who can get into the kitchen. Sheryl, who has chronic myofascial pain reminds us, \"Make sure there are always chairs available for those who can\'t stand more than a couple of minutes.\" Don\'t assume just because you don\'t see a cane, means she is fine.

7. Realize that she may not want others to know about her illness

Marjorie says, \"When an explanation is given in confidence, don\'t react so that everyone present knows that I have a problem,\" and Anjuli, who has congenital myopathy (a form of Muscular Dystrophy) agrees. \"Don\'t single me out!\"

8. Make scholarships available

Financial constraints often hold many women with illness back from attending. Let them know costs may be covered.

9. Assign a person in charge of overseeing the necessities of those with chronic illness

Choose your \"healthiest\" person with a chronic illness, or a cancer survivor, to communicate with those with illness and listen to their needs and concerns. The women who responded to the survey still do attend retreats and most say they approach the retreat planner ahead of time about their health issues. But for the dozens of others who would like to attend, but assume you are unable to accommodate their needs, they never contact the church. Try to reach the women who assume they are unable to go, by putting a special line on your promotional flyers that say, \"Coping with chronic illness? Ask us about our special accommodations! We\'d love to have you come!\"

One of the most overlooked gifts in our church are those who live with chronic illness or pain. Despite their daily suffering, they have a great deal of wisdom and joy for the Lord. National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week is September 8-14, and is sponsored by Rest Ministries. It\'s a wonderful opportunity to look at your ministry\'s priorities. Who is not being served who could use your encouragement? And who lives with an illness and is missing out on serving others because they are not connected to the church? Get them involved! One day, one of them may be your retreat speaker.

Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries, and author of http://www.beyondcasseroles.com\" target=\"_blank\">\"Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend.\" This book is impacting thousands of lives, as churches distribute it around the country, committing to finding fresh ways to minister to those who are hurting.