I was just twenty-four years old and living over one thousand miles away from my family when I faced the diagnosed of rheumatoid arthritis. In barely a month I visited doctors more often than I had in years, and eventually found one who would listen to me explain my symptoms. A few days later I had a diagnosis.

Despite the terms "chronic" and "forever" I felt relieved to know the label that described my chronic pain. Few of my friends, however, shared my enthusiasm for a diagnosis. The managers at my office were more concerned about the fact that I wasn't wearing heels to work anymore, making me look less professional.

They quickly flung the words, "You're too young to feel so bad!" They always confused rheumatoid arthritis as being related to typical arthritis their grandmothers suffered from, exclaiming, "You can't have arthritis yet." Some tried to sympathize, comparing my fatigued body to a sports injury they had dealt with. "Oh yeah, I have some arthritis on my knee from football. It's not fun, but you just have to push through the pain." Oftentimes, the comments were accompanied by the wave of a hand or the rolling eyes.

When you are diagnosed with a chronic illness while in your twenties, all typical decision making it thrown off schedule. This time in your life should be about choices for areas of education, a career, relationships, and even where you will live. Instead, all of these decisions are put on hold and you must make more life-changing choices - fast! How you accept (or do not) accept the diagnosis? What medications should you take? What is the risk of side effects and are worth it? How do you find the best doctor? We get a fast education on how to read lab test results, what forms of alternative treatments to try, and even when to let yourself have a good cry versus when to just bite your lip and hold the tears back.

I tried to make each decision based on thorough research, a bit of instinct, and "worse case scenario" situations. So when I heard someone facetiously say, "You're too young to have that illness" it felt like a slap in the face; as if they assumed I was too gullible to fight the doctor's diagnosis and get "right one" that could be cured with a simple pill. I had to be incorrectly diagnosed, they assumed, because, after all, I "looked so good."

The onslaught of advertisements for prescription medications have somewhat educated the general public that illnesses such as rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia are legitimate illnesses. The downside, however, is that everyone considers his self an expert, and they often make their assumptions based on the visuals of those same commercials: people with debilitating illnesses miraculously playing tennis or running down the beach. While some people may find remission due to the medications, most of us are just glad to be able to get out of bed, dress ourselves, and drive a car. The commercials fail to educate that despite an illness being controlled, they are still accompanied by tremendous daily pain.

With each chronic illness, most of which are invisible, people will doubt that your illnesses impacts your life as significantly as it does. If you are in your twenties or thirties, they will be even less likely to understand that feeling better requires much more than a good attitude or a little bit of exercise.