Did you recently make resolutions for the New Year?

- I\'m going to lose that extra weight
- I\'ll really save some money this year
- I\'ll give people more grace
- I will exercise on a regular schedule
- I will start some good habits

We\'ve all been there. And we\'ve all faced March 23rd rolling around and feeling like a failure because some of those goals haven\'t crossed our mind since December 31st.

The concept of setting resolutions is worthy and helpful for most people. When you are chronically ill, however, resolutions can be wearisome and even scary. Most of the time our bodies and our health, therefore our lives, are out of our control. The effects of chronic pain can be devastating I you dwell on it. Though losing five pounds a month seems reasonable, a prescription of medication can quickly add on the pounds, despite our best dieting efforts. Even small goals seem hopeless.

The best explanations for not meeting our resolutions are quite reasonable.

--> I\'m going to exercise more . . . The only real exercise my body can handle is getting into a pool and the water temperature is just too cold at the local indoor pool - - even my doctor says so

--> I\'m going to get rid of those extra pounds . . . It seems every chronic pain medication I get has a list of side effects that say, \"May cause weight gain.\" May? They all do!

--> I\'m going to start making wiser choices about money . . . Money? What money? I\'m barely surviving on what I have!

So what is the answer?

First of all, congratulate yourself if you ignored that calendar that flashed \"January\" beckoning you to set resolutions. January is be a time to recover from the holidays, the travel, or the family that may have visited. There is no universal rule that says all goals must begin in January. You\'re likely exhausted. December is often a time to finish up as many medical visits as possible before the new year\'s health insurance deductibles set in. The weather conditions can leave you home-bound for weeks. And if you\'ve survived it all without getting the flu, a cold, or infection, you\'re one of few. Could there be a worse time to make major modifications in our life?

Secondly, make some changes without labeling anything a \"resolution.\" When you go to grab snacks at the store, get items with high fiber, soy, sugar-free, organic, or even those that have immune boosts. Check with a dietician about what some healthy choices would be, taking your illness into consideration. Little changes will eventually add up, and you can have the pleasure of knowing you are working towards your objective.

Thirdly, make a list of things that are important to you. Rather than saying, \"I\'m going to make wiser choices about money.\" Write down what it is that you desire. Have you wanted to go see a local Broadway show for years, but have never been able to afford the $50 ticket? Is your car running on bolts and old tires? How much would you need to fix it or replace it? Surely you value the freedom having your own transportation gives you. By taking some time to write down what is important to you, and stick them on the bathroom mirror as a reminder, it will give you some motivation when you are making those small little choices each day.

Fourthly, partner up with someone else who has a chronic illness where you can share your goals and how your illness impacts them. Illness adds a great deal of stress to our lives all the time. Any changes are intensified because our disease is so uncontrollable. It\'s not helpful to have your healthy best-friend say, \"Let\'s just walk a half a mile today! A little pain means it is working those muscles!\" A friend who can say, \"I totally understand how hard it is when you\'ve lost five pounds and then steroids put it back on in three days,\" is a gift. You will be able to keep perspective on the situation. Chronic pain patients who join support groups often report a better quality of life.

Fifth, give yourself a break. Depression and chronic pain go together way too often. When you make a decision that is less than ideal, don\'t sweat it! Don\'t think of it as a failure, but rather just a less than perfect choice you made for that moment. You will have another sixty-something times in the next month to make the correct decision. Start out by just aiming for making the correct one more than half the time. Skipping that shopping spree or avoiding the drive-thru burger place is a step in the right direction.

Lastly, have a fun goal! We easily forget that resolutions don\'t all have to be things to do to \"fix\" us! Decide that once per month you will go see a movie--even all by yourself. Or that you will put lunch with a friend on the calendar for the second Tuesday every month. Remember to reward yourself. When you clean out those dresser drawers, go buy some new pajamas and big fluffy slippers.

If you have supportive friends and down-to-earth expectations, by the end of the year you will find that you are one of the few people who actually met some of those \"resolutions.\" And everyone has some of their goals that are left for next year\'s calendar! So celebrate the fact that you have found some joy along the journey of reaching towards some new habits, despite living with illness.

Get a free download of 200 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend from \"Beyond Casseroles\" by Lisa Copen, just subscribe\'>http://www.restministries.org/res-ezine_ill.htm\">subscribe to HopeNotes invisible illness ezine at Rest Ministries. Lisa founded of Invisible\'>http://www.invisibleillness.com\">Invisible Illness Week