If your wife has a chronic illness, chances are romance is the last thing on her mind. Too often illness creates physical pain, weight gain or loss, bloating and even feeling less than a woman if she\'s had to give up everything from her career to her lingerie.

Be assured that you are not alone. Nearly 1 in 2 people in the USA live with a chronic illness and so many marriages are impacted. Unfortunately, nearly seventy-five percent of them end in divorce when an illness is that \"third party\" in the marriage.

Is it possible for you to make a difference and let her know you want to romance her? Of course! With a few simple ideas, you can get the spark back into your marriage.

Chocolate. Yes, it really can be that simple. But buy her some sugar-free chocolate that she can splurge on without the guilt. It\'s amazing how good it tastes! Chocolate has a chemical called phenyl ethylamine that actually produces the feeling of \"being in love.\" Check out your local Wal-Mart or Target for their Russell Stover\'s chocolates that come in bags. Coconut, caramels, and pecans hmmmm you get the idea.

Women with a chronic illness are the same as most women. They want their man to hold their hand. Give affection generously, but also carefully to not cause more pain. Rub her back, call her a pet name you haven\'t used in five years, and don\'t pressure her for more. Cuddle, snuggle, and cuddle some more like you will never let her go.

Pour out your heart about how much you admire the strength she shows in the darkest moments. Let her know you know that living with illness is difficult and that you are blessed to be married to someone with so much character and joy. Remind her that you love her and are in it \"in sickness and in health.\"

Give her an indulgence of something she wouldn\'t buy herself, especially something to lighten up her mood on days when she isn\'t feeling well. Get her the DVD her favorite movie from high school, or a cozy new down comforter for her bed.

Schedule a retreat for her at home. Find care for the kids, bring home dinner, and don\'t say anything when you come home at 6 p.m. and she\'s still in her pajamas.

Hide romantic notes in places she will find them. Stick a note in the fridge that says, \"I know it\'s hard for you to go grocery shopping. Please know how much it means to me that you keep this box stocked just for me!\"

Get romantic at home. Looking for a romantic dinner idea for staying home? Buy an electric fondue pot and pledge to dip something in candlelight one evening a week and just talk.

Don\'t know how to start a conversation that can lead to romance? There are loads of books about \"conversation starters\" and most have a romantic version. \"Red Hot Monogamy\" by Bill and Pam Farrell is also a good book to read to gain some ideas.

Take the time to create the atmosphere. The new flameless candles that operate on a battery are great for a romantic environment. Make up a play list on your ipod that will take her back to simpler days. Bring a big bouquet of roses into the bedroom when she isn\'t looking.

It\'s no surprise that women are complicated beings and rarely can you read her mind to know exactly what she needs and when she needs it. So be sure to just ask her outright. \"What is on your mind most these days? How can I help you around the house more? What can I do to communicate just how much I love you?\"

The good news is that perfection is not a requirement. Just by making the effort to increase the romance in the relationship will score you some big points. And she may not let you even have a chance to finish reading that book on romancing your wife, because if she sees you reading it, your willingness to read it may be all the romance she needs. One last piece of advice, doing the dishes or the laundry really can be the best way to your wife\'s heart.

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Get a free download of 200 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend from the book \"Beyond Casseroles\" by Lisa Copen when you subscribe to HopeNotes invisible illness ezine at <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = \"urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags\" />Rest Ministries. Lisa is the coordinator of National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week