Everyone handles the troubles in their lives in assortment of ways. While some people put on a happy face and intentionally decide they will use their illness as an opportunity, others will drive home from the physician\'s office anxious about how much longer they will be able to drive because of the seriousness of the pain. They\'ll lie down on the couch and not leave the house for years. Why do some people thrive even though they have a chronic illness while others simply go into survival mode, even using the illness as an excuse for everything that goes wrong in their life?

People who live with an illness and still radiate happiness and joyfulness for life have some things in common. None of us cope with our illness perfectly, so even if we tend to deal with it well, there is likely a tip below that we could use to improve our outlook on life.

Here are a few things I\'ve discovered:

[1] They have hope. Research has proven that hope can increase the speed at which people recover from surgery. Hope is vital and necessary to find contentment despite our circumstances. For example, the 2006 theme of National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week was \"My illness is invisible but my hope shines through.\" I couldn\'t say it better.

[2] They carry on and keep going no matter what with a persevering attitude. Living with constant chronic pain is very tiring! Emotionally, physically, and spiritually, chronic pain can quickly deplete our strength and spirit. Our good health is one of the main things our society counts on to help us reach our dreams, even referring to the saying, \"At least you have your health!\" But when you live with unending chronic pain and still are able to find happiness, part of the reason is because--though you adapt our dreams-you still have them. At times, these new purposes can be more exhausting than the original ones, but passion can produce a lot of adrenaline.

[3] They are good advocates of their own health. Paul J. Donoghue and Mary E. Siegel, authors of \"Sick and Tired of Feeling Sick and Tired,\" write \"Getting this help in a consistently satisfying manner is as essential as it is challenging. You will need perseverance, courage and skill. You will need to understand your needs and be committed to getting them\" (p. 160). People who take part in the  decision making process on the topic of their care and treatment, and who actively hunt for out doctors who will partner with them, are more happy than those who feel out of control. For example, if it\'s one\'s desire to have children it\'s important to have a medical team that will understand this desire and provide good treatment even if they don\'t agree with your decision, rather than reprimand you by giving you poor care.

[4] People with an illness who are happy tend to ask, \"Why not me?\" rather than \"Why me?\" They rarely play the victim card. To have this attitude takes effort if it doesn\'t come naturally. Many times people volunteer their time with organizations that may serve people who are also disadvantaged in some way. For example, they may volunteer for a group that serves others who live with illness, cancer, or who have left abusive homes, maybe even a pet shelter. They recognize that this world is not perfect and when things are going pretty well in their lives, it\'s as a blessing, not a right.

[5] They aren\'t overly sensitive and they don\'t take the comments of others too personally. If one has a strong foundation of faith this can make everything easier because one appreciates her value and worth as a person. She doesn\'t find her worth in her physical strength. She learns what she is answerable for (like an attitude) and not as responsible for (like an infection that keeps returning). This can help keep away unnecessary guilt for things out of her control.

[6] They communicate well. Being able to talk to others and explain your feelings, learning to listen effectively, and watching one\'s words carefully, can prevent a lot of problems. Hurt feelings, misunderstandings and arguments can impact your entire life and your body\'s abilities to cope with an illness. One must learn to control bitterness and focus on healthy relationships. Happy people know when to talk and how much to share about their personal lives. They learn how to speak with grace.

[7] They sincerely care about other people. Your illness may not have been the education you had hoped to get, but people who are happy see their experiences as a gift of knowledge. They can share their ups and downs, and struggles and successes with others who are going through challenging experiences and need a friend or mentor. To truly find happiness, we must search outside of ourselves and reach out to other people.

J.K. Rowling, author, once said, \"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.\" This quote is perhaps one of the most wonderful examples of a good attitude for those with chronic illness.

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Get a free download of 200 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend from the book \"Beyond Casseroles\" by Lisa Copen when you subscribe to HopeNotes invisible illness ezine at <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = \"urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags\" />Rest Ministries. Lisa is the coordinator of National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week